It's \"JUST\" a Shrinking Feeling...
I'm Not "Just" Anything... And Neither Are You.
There’s a word I’ve never trusted and why I’ve never let it anywhere near me.
A word I’ve never used to describe myself.
A word that sneaks into women's lives and slices away at their power, sentence by sentence.
It’s the word “just.”
Let Me Take You Back
It still feels like yesterday… that’s how significant it was for me.
Over 20 years ago, I was in a corporate training room… you know the type: ugly carpet, stale coffee, HR professionals playing out a “model” interview scenario.
One played the interviewer, the other playing, the candidate.
It was meant to show a good interview.
But the candidate kept saying:
“I just support the team.”
“I Just do the admin.”
“I’m just part-time.”
It made me so mad.
Not because she wasn’t brilliant, she clearly was, but because she had shrunk herself so small, no one else in the room even flinched!
This was HR. Professionals. Teaching this as best practice. I nearly choked on my bloody custard cream.
From that day on, I made myself a promise:
I will never say “just” about myself or allow anyone around me to be “just” anything.
Not in a meeting. Not in an email. Not in a whisper.
I'm The One Who Always Said "I'll Do That".
That’s always been me. Put my hand up. Jump in. Say yes before the doubts creep in.
Did I always know what I was doing? Of course not. But I showed up anyway because that's where the adventure begins… in the winging-it phase.
I’ve spun the plates, pivoted on a penny, said yes to things that scared the hell out of me, then figured it out as I went.
And that’s the truth about women in midlife we’ve been doing this for decades.
Juggling. Shifting. Adapting.
Holding the roof up while still making it look effortless.
So don’t tell me you're "just a mum."
Or "just getting by."
Or “just” working part-time.
You are doing all the things... without the bloody fanfare.
Wouldn’t it be nice for us all to have a dedicated cheerleader in our heads every day?
You can.
IT’S YOU!
Let's Talk Mindset.
The “just” habit? It’s not harmless. It’s a mindset and it keeps you small.
It slips into your thoughts, your introductions, your emails, your beliefs:
“I just stay at home now.”
“I just do a bit of consulting.”
“I’m just trying to get through menopause.”
And suddenly, without realising, you’re talking about your life like it’s an afterthought.
Like you’re an afterthought.
Men Absolutely Don't Do This.
Let’s be honest have you ever heard a man say:
“I’m just the breadwinner.”
“I just pay the mortgage.”
“I just run a company.”
Nope. They show up proud.
Even if they’ve blagged their way into the job (and let’s be real, many have), they own it.
Meanwhile, we’re out here minimising our entire lives because we haven’t nailed the Pinterest version of motherhood, menopause, or marriage.
You Are Not Just Anything!
You are:
The glue that holds your world together
The fixer when things go sideways
The quiet powerhouse who gets sh*t done whether or not anyone sees it
And even when you feel like you're winging it, you're still doing it. You’re still showing up.
That’s not just something.
That’s everything...
If You Only Take One Thing Away From This.
It’s this:
Catch yourself the next time “just” creeps into your voice.
Stop mid-sentence if you have to.
Correct yourself.
Say what you actually do.
Because the minute you start naming your value accurately, you begin living it.
You’ll feel prouder, more positive, and be seen as “she who does have her shit together” even when you’re still figuring it out.
