I think not… You are Your Choices.

I caught myself in the mirror at the gym today.
Not just my reflection, but the familiar tug of something I’ve been battling for years: sabotage.

The sabotage you don’t see.

It’s not the dramatic kind... not quitting my job in a storm of emails or torching a relationship on the way out.  It’s the subtle, quiet, almost invisible kind. The kind that doesn’t shout, it whispers. The kind that slips into your day without you even noticing.

The Comfort of Grazing

For me, it often starts with food.

I’ve been on a journey with nutrition for a while now, determined to fuel my body better and build more strength. But my default comfort zone is grazing.

I’ll skip proper meals, picking at little things here and there. I’ll tell myself, “It’s fine, I’m not that hungry.” But I know exactly what it is... sabotage dressed up as convenience.

Because grazing isn’t just about food, it’s about comfort. It’s about familiarity. And it’s about quietly keeping myself stuck.

Every time I do it, I’m moving further away from the energy and health I say I want.

That’s what makes sabotage so powerful. It doesn’t feel like sabotage. It feels normal.

The Gym Detour

The same pattern shows up in fitness.

When I started going to the gym, I was proud of myself for sticking with it.  Then I got sick... and that became my first excuse. Visitors came, another excuse. Then I travelled to the UK, and by the time I came home, I’d built myself a solid wall of reasons why I hadn’t gone back.

Each one made sense. Each one was valid. But together, they formed the perfect hiding place for sabotage.

Because my default position is always closer than my discipline when starting new habits.

And here’s the truth: it wasn’t about sickness, or guests, or travel. It was about letting sabotage win. It was about slipping back into autopilot and calling it life getting in the way.

Today, walking back into the gym, I realised this: my sabotage is often louder than my discipline... unless I decide to call it out.

Where I Refuse To Sabotage

But sabotage doesn’t control every part of me. In fact, there’s one area where I’m fiercely disciplined: my relationship.

My Partner and I are determined not to let things sit, fester, or rot. We’ve both been in relationships where silence, resentment, and avoidance became the norm. And we refuse to carry that forward.

So we talk. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially when it’s uncomfortable.

I don’t sabotage us by withdrawing or sulking.

I don’t let resentment quietly grow.

He doesn’t either. That’s why we work.

Here’s the contrast I’ve noticed: sabotage creeps in most easily where your discipline is weakest.  For me, that’s nutrition and fitness. For him, it’s triggers that may lead to some uncomfortableness, so his default is to react swiftly instead of allowing it to pass.

The Trigger Moment

We spoke about it just this week, bringing it into focus. Then when he noticed himself slipping into a familiar spiral... the same spiral that carved deep into him he recognised it and stopped it in its tracks.

That’s the piece most of us miss: the moment of recognition.

Not when the sabotage has already run away with us, but at the very start. The tiny moment where it begins.

That’s the power point. That’s the gateway.

Because once you see it, you can call it out. And once you call it out, you can choose differently.

The Sabotage You Don’t See

The sabotage you don’t see can look like:

• Overcommitting because saying no feels too uncomfortable.

• Delaying a decision until the opportunity quietly passes.

• Criticising yourself before anyone else gets the chance.

• Avoiding the gym, the meeting, or the conversation with a list of “valid” reasons.

The sabotage you don’t see often feels safe, even sensible. But safety isn’t the same as growth.

The question isn’t “Am I sabotaging myself?”, the question is “Where?”

The Edit Moment

Self-sabotage isn’t a life sentence. It’s an invitation.

An invitation to:

• Notice your defaults.

• Spot the moments where you hand over your power.

• Interrupt the pattern and choose differently.

That’s what I had to remind myself today, standing in front of that mirror.

Yes, I skip meals. Yes, I make excuses about the gym. Those are my defaults. But defaults don’t define me.

Because every time I notice them, I get to make a different choice.

And that’s really what The Life Edits is about. Not erasing the messy parts, but editing them into something more aligned with who you’re becoming.

Final thought

So, are you your own Saboteur..?

I think not.

You are not your sabotage. You are your choices.