For over two decades, I lived with a condition called Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo.

Not the cute kind that gives you a head rush.  The kind that makes you hold the wall when you get out of bed, or stops you from getting on that very important work flight. The kind that has you waking up every morning wondering, “Will today be the day I fall over in front of the Execs?”

And yet, there I was climbing the corporate ladder, brushing off the episodes, adjusting my life around it.  Because “that’s what strong women do,” right?

That’s the story we’re told.

We can have it all, career, family, health, sanity as long as we just try harder. Be better. Work more.

But here’s the truth no one told me until I found it myself:

You can’t heal when you’re in survival mode.

And for so many women building careers, especially in male-dominated industries like Oil & Gas, that’s exactly the mode we operate in for years.  My point of reference is Oil & Gas as it’s the industry I built a great career in.

Let’s Talk About Why Women Don’t Prioritise Themselves

It’s not just about long hours.  It’s not just the job titles or KPIs.

It’s the invisible load.

• The pressure to prove you belong.
• To work twice as hard to be considered half as capable.
• To never drop the ball at home or work.
• To stay grateful for your “seat at the table” even when it’s wobbly as hell and built for someone else’s frame!

We’re raised with this quiet conditioning:

• Be the team player.
• Be agreeable.
• Be competent but not threatening.
• And whatever you do, don’t show signs of weakness.  

So when your body starts to whisper “I’m struggling,” you silence it.  When your mind screams “I need a break,” you say “Not now, I’ve got a meeting.”

And when your health unravels slowly over the years, you carry on. Because that’s what good girls, good women, good corporate citizens do.

My Breaking Point Came in Silence

I didn't have a dramatic vertigo episode, as my first ever panic attack beat the vertigo hands down!  

I self-managed my vertigo like a side hustle. I became the queen of adapting, of hiding it, of pushing through.

I was told in the UK there was no cure.  Take the pills. Crack on.  That was the care I received. That was the message.

And honestly? I accepted it. I mean, who has time to question the system when you’re running at full tilt?

And it wasn’t until I stepped away from corporate life that I finally did something wild…

I asked for help. 

I saw a specialist in Abu Dhabi and two months later after targeted therapy and actual expertise, yep you guessed it, I was off medication and vertigo free.

No pills. No warnings. No spinning rooms!

I remember looking out at the ocean one morning and thinking, “Is this what calm feels like?”

The Real Shock?

I Had No Idea How Bad It Had Got

I had lived with stress as my baseline.  I thought everyone felt this way - wired, tired, anxious, and just one sharp turn away from disaster.

But the truth is, I was in a state of constant alert.  And it turns out, no surprise here, my biggest trigger for vertigo was stress and anxiety.

Stress was literally making me sick.  And I was calling it “being good at my job.”

Then vs. Now

A Wake-Up Call in Photos 

I came across this old corporate photo recently taken nearly 10 years ago as my career was in full throttle mode.  I was Polished. Professional. Put together.  The epitome of HR Leadership.

But the truth? I was barely holding it together.

I see it clearly now, the tension in my shoulders, the cautious smile, the way my body sits like it’s bracing for impact or a vertigo hit!

Now look at me today.  Ten years on, Same woman. Different world.

I’m not performing anymore.
I’m present. Calm. Clear. Happy.

I didn’t realise how much I was wearing my stress until I saw it frozen in time.  Sometimes, your body tells the truth long before your mouth does.

That visual contrast is more than aesthetic. It’s a testimony to the power of choosing yourself.  I just want to say, both of these pics were professionally taken, and yes, I look like I'm about to cry in the old one, I know!

 This is a wake-up call.  Because here’s what I’ve realised now I’m on the other side:

• We cannot outsource our health to systems designed to keep us functioning, not flourishing.
• We cannot wait for a health crisis to ask ourselves what we actually need.
• And we cannot keep pushing through pain to maintain an image of success that’s slowly destroying us.

Career success should not come at the cost of your well-being.

So What Needs to Change?

I want to speak to the women reading this and not what organisations should/could do more of:

• If you’ve been popping the pills but not asking why you need them - this is your sign.
• If you’ve been quieting the discomfort so you can keep “performing” - this is your sign.
• If you’ve convinced yourself that everyone else handles it better - this is your sign.

You have permission to stop.
To investigate.
To invest in you.

Even when it feels selfish. ESPECIALLY when it feels selfish!

And Now..... 

My world didn’t fall apart when I stepped back.  What did happen was the peeling away of years of conditioning and, the overwhelming freedom that gave way to.  My identity didn’t disappear when I stopped working 60 hours a week.

And funnily enough, once I started feeling better, I showed up better in every part of my life, created a new career and the people that now surround my world are there to support me and care for me.  No agenda, just good people who see me and not the corporate version I'd created that was slowly dimming my light.

So, what could you become if you stopped just “managing” and started healing?

And more importantly.... what are you waiting for?

Ladies I beg you, just stand still for a moment and allow yourself to make better choices that creates growth and peace for you.  

Here for you always