Are You An Inbetweener? Things to Remember When You Feel Unclear as F*ck

What They Don’t Tell You About the ‘In Between’ Years. 

No one warns you about this bit! The weird, wobbly, not-quite-who-you-were-but-definitely-not-who-you’re-becoming part.

The bit where the house is suddenly quiet, your inbox is less full, your waistline is more full, and you’re wondering if this “next chapter” is supposed to come with a bloody table of contents.

You look around your life and think: “Hang on… is this it? Am I done? Is this the part where I fade gently into soft furnishings and go quietly into cardiganed contentment?”

Hell NO!!!  But it feels bloody murky in the middle.

Some days, you’re clear-headed and capable. Other days, you bubble over dog shelter adverts and forget your own PIN number.  I know!  I've been standing there in front of the cash machine and literally, my brain does a little "fuck it" dance....  Let's hide the PIN in that safe place she always puts stuff and then can't find the safe place!!  

You start googling things like

“how to start again at 50”,

“how to make friends when your tolerance is low”, or

“why am I shouting at my husband for breathing?”

You are, my friend, an In-Betweener. Not quite who you were. Not quite who you’re becoming.

Still showing up, still holding it together (mostly), still hoping nobody asks you to explain what you do right now because honestly, you’re not sure.

It’s not that life’s bad,  it just feels… blurry and shit.

You’ve outgrown the old version of you, but you haven’t quite stepped into the new one with both feet yet. It’s a bit like standing in a changing room with the wrong lighting, wearing one shoe, holding three dresses you don’t like, and wondering why you thought it was a good idea to leave the house with that hair!

But Listen to me:

You’re not doing it wrong.

You’re not late.

And no, you don’t need to fix it all by next Tuesday.

You’re simply in motion.... the messy, magnificent motion.  And The In-Between is where the magic brews (right next to the rage and the desire to kill, all wrapped up in the random crying).

Let me tell you what being an In-Betweener looked like for me.

Post-divorce, I was suddenly single, for the first time in my entire adult life. Let that sink in. Thirty-odd years of sharing space, identity, decisions… and then, nothing. No map. No manual. Just me. In between what was… and whatever came next. I’d left the marriage, but I hadn’t yet landed in the life I was building.

Same thing was happening at work... the slow, creeping detachment, the quiet resentment, the whisper that said “this isn’t it anymore.”

But when you’ve been so many things to so many people for so long, wife, mother, manager, fixer, who even are you when you take all that off? I didn’t have that answer at the time. And honestly? I still don’t fully. Because The Life Edits, the business, the mission, the brand, it’s still evolving too.

But now: I have more peace. More clarity. More freedom. And not by accident, by design. I planned the hell out of my exit. I made smart financial decisions. I backed myself. And even now, in the middle of it, I still have wobbles. I still have worries.

The pressure to “make it work” is real. But I’ve never felt more like me. And then there’s love, or whatever you want to call the romantic chapter. When you’ve spent twenty-something years in a relationship that shaped your role, your responsibilities, your rhythm, stepping out of that is terrifying… and liberating as hell.

In that space before the next relationship? That’s when you figure out who you are without the script. No longer defined by what someone else needs. No longer bending to fit the life you built around them. No longer apologising for being too much, or not enough.

And when the next relationship does come, if it does, you walk into it as you. Not as someone edited down for peacekeeping.

So if you’re in the in-between right now… Don’t panic. Don’t rush.

And for the love of all things HRT and Pinot Noir.... don’t pretend you’re fine if you’re not. Acknowledge it. Name it. This is a season, not a sentence.

Get curious about what’s next. Not the polished Instagram version, the real version. The one that fits your values now, your energy now, your reality now.

Because here’s the truth: The future looks nothing like the past. And thank f*ck for that. You don’t need to replicate what came before. You don’t need to “return” to anything. You get to build what’s next on your terms, with new boundaries, new standards, and no one else's script.

As I always say now, the rear view mirror is called that for a reason. It’s small, it’s behind you, and it only shows you where you’ve been.  It's not a place to revisit.... trust me, I tried.  

You’re driving this thing forward now. So take a breath, grab the wheel, and stop waiting to feel ready. You’re already doing it.

§ Ready to move forward, even if it’s just one tiny step?

The Midlife Mini Audit Workbook was made for Inbetweeners like you... the ones navigating the blurry bits with no map, just instinct.
It’ll help you check in, take stock, and start building clarity around what’s next (without having to have it all figured out first).

👉 Grab the Workbook here and start where you are.

Because sometimes, the most powerful move you can make is simply admitting: I’m not done yet.